Match ReportSEATTLE (Mar. 14th)— Coming off a three game losing streak, the playoffs were on the line. Win and the Doers would advance to the playoffs. Lose, and the season would be over on an incredibly sour note. The combination of the deep Redmond venue and Daylight Savings resulted in the Man Pons scraping together a skeleton crew of 12 bro's (half of whom were still haggard from the previous nights activities) with player of all seasons Derek Long slipping in between the pipes. "I'm good to go whenever captain Augustavo calls in the lefty" said Long. "I give it my all in the best of times and the worst of times." Following a series of aggressive driving tactics by Jon Augustavo, who produces music videos and does other artsy stuff for a living, stellar wingback Pater Cahill found his way into the park bathroom for a quick chunder session. "Ohhhhh I'mmm soooo haggard" said Cahill after vomiting profusely. He also commented "I NEEEED THIS."
The Doers got off to a tough start. Poi Dawgs immediately took the offensive. After a series of attacks they found the back of the net on a coy header in a goalmouth scramble. For the remainder of the first half the two squads battled to control the ball at the midfield. Each side saw multiple opportunities pass with no yield. Ultimately the half closed with the bad guys up one nil. Starting the second half, the Doers came out with a lot of energy and fire. Blake Ambrose, despite being baffled by how many celebrities MIA striker, Drew Triplett, resembles, made a number of runs and nice dribbling juke moves, but couldn't find an open shot. Cap'n Augustavo noted, "That is perhaps the most coordinated defense I've ever played against. I got like four offsides and they did a good job shutting down our attack". The Doers finally found the net near the halfway mark as Mark Thinnes played one of his "miracle balls" near post. The force from the powerful blast gave the keeper trouble as the ball bounced off the post and the keepers body and snuck in the back door. "That's one of the best reach arounds I've ever seen" said Derek Long. Somewhere in Europe, former Doer and Nordic national team member Chris "Bjorno" Totev, inquired, "Whoa. You really just snuck it in the back door?" (to be read with a Norwegian accent)
Doer midfielder and practicing hippy Matt Clark noted "after we tied it one-one, there was something that changed in the team attitude. I could feel it- we were gonna get this one". The Doers continued to hold off the opposing attack with Derek Long making a number of impressive saves and quick witted decisions in the box. "I like to think that I know my way around the box" said Long, who specializes in using Wookie Fingers. The half consisted of the Doers playing through balls to their attack only to continue to lose it back to the Poi Dawgs, who slowly built up their offensive attack and had many good attempts while dominating possession. "Thank God for the short fences at the field . . . bro" said winger James Augustavo, who wears tights under his kit. "The 15 or so times the ball went over, and play stopped, gave our understaffed squad time to recover from all the running." After more back and forth action, wunderkind Tito Ambrose was able to draw a foul outside the opposing 18 with just under 10 minutes left in the game. "Ahhhhhh" Tito screamed in an extremely high pitched voice that sounded somewhat like Kermit the Frog being stabbed. It was decided that Ambrose would take the set piece. A great decision, as he snuck a bender into the left corner, just past the outstretched hands of the diving keeper. "I did it for the clunge! It felt good to not Barry Bonds one 30 yards over the net" commented Ambrose, who is also a wake boarding expert.
The Doers turned up the defensive efforts to hold off the Poi Dawgs attack. After a couple frisky plays, the ponyboy referee finally blew the whistle signaling the Doers 2-1 victory and playoff berth. The Doers seemed to find their old selves with players regaining confidence and holding together as a team to shut down Poi Dawgs countless attacks and 70%-30% possession favor. "Today's game reminded me of the old squad attitude" said Mankato Minnesota native Elliot O Connor, who is also a quilting fanatic. "We played as a team of athletes and really supported each other out there, don't you know". Center back Eric Englund commented "I'm very proud of the way the defense played today. We lived up to our motto of 90% body and 10% ball on our tackles despite being much smaller than the opposing strikers. It was nice having a ref that really wasn't calling much in such a physical game". Even with his pre-game antics, Pat Cahill, who was still hung over from drinking after the Sounders game last Thursday, had a plethora of timely clears that seemed to somehow turn in to well placed through-balls for speedy Winger Jon Augustavo, who was playing up top on the day. Eric Yates, who lost a year of his life on the muggy March morning because he neglected to apply sunblock before the game, contributed some great runs and defensive stops. Tinman did a great job stuffing the opposing male players while Yates was pushed up. Elin also had a great effort winning headers and sacrificing his body for the Work Doers cause. At one point, blood was gushing from his nose. "He's gonna be feelin' that one tomorrow" commented legendary NFL commentator John Madden, who has a massive head.
"I'm proud of the team today" commented team captain Jon Augustavo. "This was a big win that we really needed. Our team wreaked of desperation heading into this one". A great game by all and a lot of fun. Playoffs next week. --eric englund Copyright 2010 Work Doers FC |
